My Lord and my God

St.Thomas the apostle, one of the twelve disciples of Christ. He was the one who doubted his brothers; all of them locked themselves in a room, afraid that the Roman Centurion might give the order for all of them - the closest friends of Christ - to be put to death, crucified or worse... being deported to the Colosseum in Rome to be eaten by the lions. It could happen anyhow; their master was crucified after all.

But what were his brothers saying? His master appearing in the middle of the hall where they were seated, praying; the door to their room shut tight? These were scared people, too nervous and jittery. Disillusions were bound to happen and Thomas wasn't going to buy all that.

He needed peace like his brothers and the weeping heart of Mary, heartbroken with flashing images of her son Jesus sacrificed on the cross. The words, 'peace be with you' from the mouth of Christ standing in the middle of the room, was just too good to be true. He could be an impostor for all he knows, a person of false hope. He was not there when it happened. He wanted to find out the truth.

He doubted all right. He doubted his brothers' claim that the resurrected Christ had visited them in this room.

I will not believe. My heart shuts its gates to all possibilities and I'll be cold unless i put my finger in the hole of the palms and my hand into the side of that person you called Christ.


And when Jesus Christ appeared in the room the second time (the first for Thomas)... Thomas was speechless. Wow! This is really happening. Christ is really here.

And when Christ comes into his heart, he was transformed inside out. No more 'the doubting Thomas' as Christ showed his palms and his side, the wounds of his crucifixion... holes on the palms by which the nails once resided and from the spear having once pierced the side of his abdomen. This person was really the Son of God.

"Peace be with you!"

The spirit of God took him and swept him of his defenses. He held Christ intensely, embracing him with trembling hands.

"My Lord and my God"

He was a changed person...


Indeed every changed person has a mission. The power of love that transforms a human being magnifying the beauty of his journey with God. The undying flames of hope fueled only by Christ, the provider. This is the mission...

And the Lord then says: "Do you love me."

He reply, "Yes Lord you know i love you."

"Feed my Lambs."

Thomas was believed to have traveled to India where he brought the word of God to its inhabitants.

St. Thomas the Apostle died a martyrs death by a spear.


He was buried in a place in India called Mylapore, Chennai and resides beneath the Basilica of St. Thomas.

I was there... hehe!